'I don't think it's right to take money from them': Dad Refuses to Share Biological Kids’ Inheritance with Stepkids, In-Laws Accuse Him of Favoritism

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    AITA for Refusing to Share My Biological Kids' Funds with My Stepchildren?
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    I (42M) have two biological children, Anna (16F) and Jake (14M), from my first marriage. When their mother passed away, she left them a substantial inheritance, which I've carefully managed in trust funds for their future education and other needs. My late wife and I always
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    prioritized their future, and this money is meant to support their goals, whether that's college, starting a business, or something else they dream of. A few years ago, I married my current wife (39F), who has two kids from her previous marriage, Ethan (15M) and Sophie (12F). I
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    love my stepchildren and treat them with the same care and respect as my own, but their father is still in their lives and provides financial support. While I contribute to their day-to-day needs, my wife and I never discussed blending the finances meant specifically for Anna and Jake.
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    Recently, my wife brought up the idea of using some of Anna and Jake's trust funds to help with Ethan and Sophie's upcoming expenses, such as extracurricular activities and potential college savings. She argued that it's unfair for my biological kids to
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    have such a financial advantage while her children don't. She believes that as a family, we should pool resources equally for all the kids. I told her that I couldn't do that. The trust funds were set up solely for Anna and Jake, and I
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    don't think it's right to take money from them that their late mother intended for their future. I offered to work with her to find other ways to save for Ethan and Sophie, but she was upset, accusing me of playing favorites and not fully accepting her kids as part of the family.
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    The argument escalated when her parents got involved, suggesting I was being selfish and that it's my responsibility to treat all the children equally. Now, even Anna and Jake are aware of the situation and feel awkward, worrying that they're being resented by their stepfamily.
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    I feel torn because I love my stepkids and want them to succeed, but I also want to honor the intentions behind the money their mother left for them. So, AITA for refusing to share my biological kids' funds with my stepchildren?
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    • _s1m0n_s3z 2d ago Edited 2d ago • Top 1% Commenter It's illegal. Using their funds on the other kids isn't just wrong, it's theft. That is Anna and Jake's money, and it is for no one else's use. NTA. That's what a trust fund means: it is moneys held in trust for a named beneficiary. It is not OP's to dispose of, and as the trustee, he is accountable for how it gets expended. If he gives it to the other kids, Anna or Jake, (or their heirs/creditors) could sue him for the return of their inherit
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    Divorce a wicked stepmother who tries to make you steal from your kids. This is a much bigger red flag than you seem to understand. Make sure your will doesn't put your kids' inheritance in her hands, because it will disappear.
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    Puzzled-Safe4801 • • 2d ago Edited 2d ago • Your children's mother di d and left them her money. Your current wife and her children have no moral and/or legal claim to your children's mother's money. This is so disgusting....that your current wife wants her children to financially benefit (and benefit greatly) from the death of your children's mother...I have no words.
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    For me, I'd never look at her the same way again and would want to get my children away from someone that cold hearted and plotting. I would immediately contact the institution that manages the trust and tell them that someone not authorized to make a withdrawal might attempt to do so. Are you the trustee? If so, I would require that you are notified immediately if anyone attempts to make a withdrawal.
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    sikonat • 2d ago Top 1% Commenter NTA that money is from their late mother exclusively for her two children. It's not even for you. How entitled and cheeky and if I were you I'd be seriously reconsidering who my spouse is if they want to steal from your kids. The selfish people are your wife and her parents. Serious conversations need to happen. with your wife and her parents need to b_t out.
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    You need to make this a dealbreaker and back your kids. Tell your kids absolutely not. This is the one thing your wife set up for her kids futures since she's not alive.
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    Watson424242 • 2d ago. NTA. Sure, I agree you should treat all the kids equally. However, your children's de d mother does NOT treat your step kids to anything. This money doesn't have anything to do with your step kids. Next time your wife or her parents bring it up, just plainly ask, "So you're suggesting I steal from the children's de d mother? Because that's HER money."
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    • teresajs 2d ago NTA • You have a ficuciary responsibility to only use your kids' money for their benefit. It's the law. Your wife can work and support her own kids.
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    CY I told her that I couldn't do that. The trust funds were set up solely for Anna and Jake, and I don't think it's right to take money from them that their late mother intended for their future. I offered to work with her to find other ways to save for Ethan and Sophie, but she was upset, accusing me of playing favorites and not fully accepting her kids as part of the family. 100

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